Vien Daffy Agner, The Princess of Sparkle

Star City Scarce Quelett O'Hatters, Roanoke, Virginia, United States

My beloved husband, Tom, died on April 9th after a long battle with Parkinson's disease and Alzheimer's. For the last years of his life, he had the frozen Parkinson's stare and even the slightest hint of a smile was a rare treat. One Saturday toward the end of last year, I got dolled up in full regalia and went to his room to tell him bye before leaving to meet my Red Hat sisters for breakfast. He was sleeping lightly and, when I woke him, he looked at me and laughed out loud, not at me, but in appreciation of the outfit. He always liked me to wear hats and clothes with "stuff" on them (his way of describing sparkles and spangles). It was such a joyous moment and one I will treasure forever. Those same sisters have supported me with such love and compassion throughout these past eight weeks. They came in a group to the funeral home for visitation and surrounded me with their love and hugs, and have done so much more since. My daughter and son were so amazed at that wonderful group of angels. I can't imagine life without my Scarlett sisters.

Queena Deena, the Elegante Elefante, Cherry Hat Tricks Chapter, Chatsworth, CA

The first letter of Inspiring Hatters really got to me as I compared VQ Daffy Agnes to myself. My husband, Rabbi Bill Gordon died on January 31, 2010. With his passing, I felt as if I had had a lobotomy and could not seem to function, to make decisions. But my "Cherries" of the Cherry Hat Tricks Chapter of Chatsworth, California (of which I am queen) rallied around and took care of me and all arrangements for the funeral and beyond. I was never left alone until weeks later when I said that I finally felt OK to be by myself. Even then they came back to help me pack up his clothing and then to help with a garage sale. My husband loved the red hatters. He loved to wear his "red hat hubby" cap and did so proudly. He loved to see me dress in my red hat attire. He was our chef at our summer barbques and made our potato latkes for our winter Chanukah festivals. At his funeral, when I got up to give his eulogy, I saw a sea of red hatters in full regalia from the queens of the San Fernando Valley and the cherries of Cherry Hat Tricks. It warmed my heart, helped me to smile through my tears, and made me feel love.